((Thanks for your kindness and patience, guys! Because I’m being super slow on a bunch of things, please enjoy the first part of Tony Stark vs. the rest of his team and the forces of SHIELD. I think we all know who’s going to win this one. Trigger warnings for mentions of guns and bombs, albeit ones loaded with paintball loads only. 8) ))
“I would like to once again register my objections to this,” Phil Coulson said to the room at large. He let his eyes play off of every person in the room. “I do not think you’re taking this with the proper amount of seriousness, and amusing ourselves by poking a beehive with a fully loaded and malfunctioning rifle is a very poor choice. The BEST thing that will happen in this situation is that we end up running through the city screaming, ‘bees, bees, so many bees.’ The worst thing that will happen is the rifle will go off and we’ll end up losing a hand. Or an arm.”
He paused. “Or a head.”
Director Nick Fury gave Phil a pitying look. “It’s an exercise, Phil.”
“It’s madness, sir.”
“SHIELD,” Natasha said, “often has trouble telling the difference.”
“Wait, in this analogy, am I the rifle, or the bees nest?” Tony asked, arching an eyebrow. He looked bored. It was a rather thin facade. Phil knew just what that muscle jumping beside his eye meant, and he wasn’t looking forward to it. To any of it.
Tony Stark was in a seriously bad mood.If anyone needs a good laugh right now I suggest you read this hahaha