ushas42

animeasuka:

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

children wake up early because they still get excited about life

this is the saddest thing I’ve seen on here

the further adventures of supervillain kid

This kid is starting to become one of my favorite parts of my job. Everyday he says something memorable.

Some Kid: “I wish the wasps wouldn’t make their nest here.”

Villain Kid: “You mean, in this state?”

SK: “…Yeah?”

VK: “I could arrange for that to happen, but I probably won’t.”

Or today

VK: (to his friend) “You know how, when you sleep, your mind goes blank, right? Well, that’s when we transform and go out into the world. We don’t control it anymore.”

Keep an eye on that one

Have you ever met a child who made you think to yourself “Yeah, he’s gonna grow up to be a supervillain,”? Because there’s a kid like that where I work. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great kid and I like him. But he’s gonna have henchmen someday.

1. The first time I met him he was practicing his coin tricks while wearing a jacket with galaxies on it.

2. His first name is already a villainous noun.

3. He has a propensity for saying ominous shit like “Snakes like me.”

4. He’s incredibly monotone and has a deepish voice for a kid. He always has a bored, half-lidded look to him. His emotional range goes from a quiet, “getting-real-tired-of-this-shit”, “I’m-surrounded-by-idiots” poker-face, to a self-satisfied smirk.

5. He’s a damn smart nine year old. He was trying to teach the other kids algebra.

6. He likes trying to hide for long enough to get people to forget he’s there.

7. I look over today and he’s using the construction paper to make skulls. Skulls.

I hope I can borrow his death-ray. 

I can’t even.

So I’m working at the local daycare, and the other day one of the mothers came to pick up her kids, and she was a girl I went to school with. She was in my grade! She has two kids!

She was a crazy motherfucker too, so I ain’t even surprised. I just… how do I mentally navigate the huge difference between my experience of life at age 23 and hers? Is this normal? Am I the weird one?

Man, when her oldest son looked at me all surprised and said “You know my mom?” and she told him we went to school together, it would have been so, so sweet to just tell him “That’s right! I remember when your mom set people’s hair on fire on the school bus!”

I love working with kids

No, seriously.

I was talking with kids at the daycare, and I told them that I wanted to dye my hair fire-engine red, but that I couldn’t because my other job wouldn’t allow it. They were SHOCKED at this injustice, and practically demanded that I quit so I could do what I wanted with my hair.

Oh you precious BBs.

things overheard

While I was out the other day, a pack of kids went by on their scooters, and I heard one of them yell “I’ve got my dad’s anger issues in me!”

I kinda hope he was just roll-playing the Hulk or something.