Posts tagged with "rl"

Yeah, relevant to that last post, I actually went to bed at a reasonable hour tonight, but I’m back on Tumblr at 2:30 in the morning because neither reading a book in bed nor wanking were sufficient to convince my brain that I wasn’t trying to go sleep, like, six hours early because THIS IS WHEN NORMAL PEOPLE GO TO SLEEP, BRAIN. I’M SORRY I LIED TO YOU ALL THESE YEARS.

Five minutes before class:

Oh God, why am I here? I’m totally unprepared and I don’t know what I’m doing. Everyone here is going to remember that I’m a pathetic failure who let them down. This was such a bad idea, I just want to go home!

Ten minutes into class:

I am an intelligent and well spoken motherfucker, and I am going to nail this class to the WALL. God, I missed this!

I’m 24 today!

I’m down here in college all by myself as well because you’re allowed to move into college apartments early. I’m gonna go shopping later and maybe buy myself a cupcake or some shit.

Jan 3




What I wanted to do today: get high, watch Babies, make cookies.

What I did today: got inadequately high, mopped up the basement floor after the washing machine flooded due to a septic tank that needs to be pumped, slipped on the stairs resulting in a fingernail broken above the nail bed.

Fuck. Me.

Sep 1


I’m not sure what’s lamer: that my mom’s friend just set me up on a date, or that I’m going.

"My mother tries to get me to go on dates, Spencer. You know what that’s like? You know how humiliating that is, Spencer?"

How do you money?

Christ, let’s hope this account transfer goes in on time, I’d really like to have not bounced a check to Shaws.

Mom wants to return something using that receipt tomorrow AHAHAHAHAHA God.


Just realized that I agreed to work on Monday despite having a dentist appointment. I can’t call and reschedule because both work and the dentist are closed on weekends.


Aug 5

I am the luckiest son of a bitch ever

So, I skipped work yesterday. It was dumb and avoidant and I shouldn’t have done it because it puts me in an awkward position at work now, but that’s not what I’m talking about.

Apparently, my parents went to visit me at work yesterday, but they assumed I must be on my lunch break because they thought they saw my car in the parking lot. They didn’t of course, someone else who works there just has a similar car to me. Later on they were a mere stone’s throw from the Barnes and Nobel where I was hanging out, and we never ran into each other. Thank heaven.

I can’t even.

So I’m working at the local daycare, and the other day one of the mothers came to pick up her kids, and she was a girl I went to school with. She was in my grade! She has two kids!

She was a crazy motherfucker too, so I ain’t even surprised. I just… how do I mentally navigate the huge difference between my experience of life at age 23 and hers? Is this normal? Am I the weird one?

Man, when her oldest son looked at me all surprised and said “You know my mom?” and she told him we went to school together, it would have been so, so sweet to just tell him “That’s right! I remember when your mom set people’s hair on fire on the school bus!”